Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My bed smells like the plague
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
