Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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