ugly people sure do ruin things
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
