I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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