well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
