She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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