Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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