We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
