i think my tv is drunk
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
