I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
