i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
