At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
