Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize