I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
