But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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