oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
