Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
