I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
