You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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