is your mom at the bar?
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
