Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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