Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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