thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
