Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
