when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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