I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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