Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
there is glitter all over my balls
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
