you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
