I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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