Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
