But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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