i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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