i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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