Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
