what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
