wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
