Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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