Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
