so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Barsexuality is the new black.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
