so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
