So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
