I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
