My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
