The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
