Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
