Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
