He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
50% drunk capacity currently
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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