Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
