Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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