whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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